The events of the weekend have people in turmoil -- like it seems to be all the time, except a little different. The discussions revolve around “security failures,” “violent rhetoric,” and ballistics. 

Let it here be known, I’m no expert on protective security details and I’m not much of a rifle shot. I’m long on communication, but that’s what I do for a living. In fact, it’s been a huge part of my life for practically my whole life. 

I’m less concerned about the bullet than about speech. Words don’t kill until they do; the mechanism of death varies but the fact that death occurs is often laid at the feet of the provocateur. 

If you want expertise on protective security work or rifle ballistics, just look at the social media feeds beginning late in the day on Saturday. I wasn’t aware we had so many experts out there, each telling us the whys and wherefores. The so-called “ROE” (rules of engagement, a military term – not law enforcement) and the like, all explained to morons like me who only attended one or a few presidential visits on the local side. 

I wouldn’t know anything about all that. 

Without picking sides, any time you have a national leader refer to national “news” media as the “enemy of the people,” those media types are going to react badly. When you have a press corps referring to a democratically elected leader as “literally Hitler,” calling him fascist and engaging in homicide porn, something’s going to break. 

It has. 

I’m reminded of John Farnam’s “Stupid Rules.” Sounding exactly like what your parents would tell you – if you were born in the 1950s-1960s – you are who you associate with. You are the places you go. 

You are the things you say, mean them or not. 

So many, I noted to my son this weekend, will judge you base on what you said in an earlier time, locker-room talk and all of it, and conclude you will always be what you were back then.

So many say the most incredibly rude, hurtful, angry things online and are stunned when they try that language in the street and get their asses handed to them. 

It’s a lesson I got early on, but (sadly), I was a slow learner. 

Treating everyone respectfully pays survival benefits. It makes fights less likely and pays the dividend that you don’t look to all and sundry like a jerk. 

Whether it’s Craig Douglas’ “Managing Unknown Contacts,” John Farnam’s excellent training classes and classes at Gunsite Academy, we see a repeated message: don’t fight unless you have to. Don’t precipitate hostilities. Be the calming influence. Prevent it if you can.

Have a plan to rapidly and conclusively terminate the encounter, should that be called for, but do everything in your power to avoid the Mark of Cain.

And avoid, as Massad Ayoob notes, the Mark of Abel. 

What about political speech? It was uglier 150 years ago than now and it predictably led to violent confrontations. You’d think we’d have learned. Why should you care about what the other side feels?

Because they can kill you. They have a vote in all this too. The question is “who gets to count the votes.” You don’t want it to be the coroner.

Like several others have expressed, I’m thankful the damage was kept to a minimum. I’m devastated at the single innocent fatality (as of this writing). One uncommon “common tater” (someone who’s seen the elephant) noted, it appears the killer was seeking a suicide by cop. It’s too bad he didn’t do the self-destructive act before he got to the venue. 

It would have saved a lot of heartache. 

Be careful of your words. Think before you type – or speak. If in doubt, remember – you have the right to remain silent. I regret the times I failed to take that advice. 

I resolve to do better.

— Rich Grassi